776 Men are just happier

Oh boy, Fitz, how do you bear being so true all the time; this joke of yours is no joke at all, it’s sooo true … it’s nearly unbearably true:

Joke of the week

Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another service station to find a loo that isn't too icky. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress: five thousand dollars. Tux rental: a hundred dollars. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You have to shave only your face and neck. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 24 minutes. No wonder men are happier.